Bob's skateboard whizzed underneath him on the smooth cement ramp. He took the jump with all the skill of a racing duck, plummeting towards the slanting asphalt
Bob opened his eyes and winced. He could feel sticky blood oozing it's way down his leg. The pain was like a thousand knives piercing his skin. He looked up into the sky. The sun was low and sending its last pitiful rays across the skate park. Suddenly he was jolted awake by a rough hand clamping over his mouth and a grunting halted voice “Don’t gedd up an’ donn try nuffin”. Something cold and hard collided with the side of Bobs face and Bob lapsed into black darkness
“Waakey wakey sleepy booty’ Bob woke to a sharp metallic smell, the thin dark light made it hard for his eyes to focus. But when they did they rested on only one thing a ‘glowing’ metal wall. Something had attacked it and had left a small twisting gap that led into darkness.
Bob was roughly dragged to his feet. He cowered under the glare of a huge man. The man had a small twisted moustache and black oily hair. He rubbed his hands together like an evil scientist and his language was bitter and terribly imperfect. “Yoou gana doo a jub forr uz” he ranted “Yourr gunna get in zat holle a you arr gunna ged uz sime gld’
Bob crawled deeper and deeper into the hole. The man had told him at the end he would find some gold, he was to put it in the bag and carry it back. After he had done this they would decide his fate . The hole was gnarled and Bob couldn’t move fast for fear of hurting himself. Suddenly the ground disappeared in front of him and he found himself falling into pure blackness. Suddenly alarms screamed all around him and suddenly a white blinding light was all around him. A door opened in the side of the wall, there was a shot... and Bob fell into a twisting darkness. Yet again.
by Abigail
Did you enjoy reading my story?
yes,but have had to read it 3 times to understand Bob's predicament. My story was a narrative,do you think the problem was realistic?
Maybe Do you think I used creative language?
Very. Are there any comments you would like to make? Yes.Bob was treated like an adult,more than a 'boy'.Found this difficult to read.Maybe i don't read enough narrative literature.
hi peaples
as you probably already know I am abbyD.AND I'M AWESOME!!!!
Kidnapped!
Bob's skateboard whizzed underneath him on the smooth cement ramp. He took the jump with all the skill of a racing duck, plummeting towards the slanting asphalt
Bob opened his eyes and winced. He could feel sticky blood oozing it's way down his leg. The pain was like a thousand knives piercing his skin. He looked up into the sky. The sun was low and sending its last pitiful rays across the skate park. Suddenly he was jolted awake by a rough hand clamping over his mouth and a grunting halted voice
“Don’t gedd up an’ donn try nuffin”.
Something cold and hard collided with the side of Bobs face and Bob lapsed into black darkness
“Waakey wakey sleepy booty’ Bob woke to a sharp metallic smell, the thin dark light made it hard for his eyes to focus.
But when they did they rested on only one thing a ‘glowing’ metal wall. Something had attacked it and had left a small twisting gap that led into darkness.
Bob was roughly dragged to his feet. He cowered under the glare of a huge man. The man had a small twisted moustache and black oily hair. He rubbed his hands together like an evil scientist and his language was bitter and terribly imperfect.
“Yoou gana doo a jub forr uz” he ranted
“Yourr gunna get in zat holle a you arr gunna ged uz sime gld’
Bob crawled deeper and deeper into the hole. The man had told him at the end he would find some gold, he was to put it in the bag and carry it back. After he had done this they would decide his fate . The hole was gnarled and Bob couldn’t
move fast for fear of hurting himself. Suddenly the ground disappeared in front of him and he found himself falling into pure blackness. Suddenly alarms screamed all around him and suddenly a white blinding light was all around him. A door opened in the side of the wall, there was a shot... and Bob fell into a twisting darkness. Yet again.
by Abigail
Did you enjoy reading my story?
yes,but have had to read it 3 times to understand Bob's predicament.
My story was a narrative,do you think the problem was realistic?
Maybe
Do you think I used creative language?
Very.
Are there any comments you would like to make?
Yes.Bob was treated like an adult,more than a 'boy'.Found this difficult to read.Maybe i don't read enough narrative literature.